Please turn your phone sideways 

Hey Everyone look at me, am I Theo De Blic?
Am I the angriest LITTLE arrogant man, you ever did meet?
I tell everyone I'm the best in the world
But many just think I'm a cheat?

Come join my FAI competitions
I am on the board you know
Don't worry about the rules
We make em up as we go.

Its not just the men, women compete too
Top prize goes to Theo, sorry ladies, no cash for you!
So waste your 500 dollars, next competition is soon
Next year top gal wins a vacuum.

We also compete syncro, two pilots at the same time,
Forget about winning the top prize is all mine
I love being in control, isn't this division fun,
If Spanish legends score perfect, scratch off the run.

Judges pro-rata the landing to adjust the score,
Once there was a bullseye but now, no more
It helps me to win, with no target to hit
everyone knows my landings are shit.

With FAI's honest judges, you haven't got a chance
les gars used all their tricks, the winners to prance
Comp closed, winds are too strong, this is our stance
Look at that stacked podium, viva la France.

The De Blic Song coming soon. 
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